Meital Pavolotzky, Week 9: Are B'nei Mitzvahs outdated?

This week, my sister will be having her Bat Mitzvah. Religiously, this means that she is an adult and can now make decisions for herself. As well, all her actions and following the commandments will now be counted, according to the Jewish tradition. On the other hand, in today's world a Bat or Bar mitzvah is just a reason for the whole family to gather and to have a huge party. This begs the question, are B'nei mitzvahs outdated?

We all know that turning 12 or 13 does not make you an adult and you should not have full responsibility at that age. So, why does the Torah say that we turn into adults when we have our B'nei Mitzvot? In biblical times, most people only lived for 20 something years, making 12 and 13 half of their lifetime. Furthermore, this is the age that our bodies start being able to reproduce. With this, we can see why the age was set. Nonetheless, it is not relevant and it should be changed so that people have it when they are ready and mature enough to have a Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

Furthermore, in today's world, many people completely skip the service part of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah and go straight to the party. To show this, many non-Jews have heard about the incredible parties that B'nei Mitzvahs have without knowing that it has religious significance. Yet, the party does not even need to happen, some say it shouldn't, for someone to be Bar Mitzvahed. This is another reason why B'nei Mitzvahs might be outdated. They are no longer meaningful. Most people just have them so that they can throw huge parties.

Adding on, most kids do not want to have to study and have a full service. This also makes their Bar Mitzvahs less meaningful. Most kids that have B'nei Mitzvahs do not keep coming to services after it ends, showing that Bar Mitzvahs do not leave a long lasting impact on the child. Also, many adults, as they grew up, feel that their Bar Mitzvah was not a meaningful experience so they repeat it years later. This goes to show that the age for becoming a Bar Mitzvah should be raised or B'nei Mitzvahs are oudated and we should maybe stop doing them.

If you had a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, was it a meaningful experience or do you feel that it would have been better to just not have it?